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Hello People!!!

What’s going on over here??? How have you guys been? Have you missed me? I know, I know, I am horribly bad at this blogging life. But I’m getting better! I mean, last year, I think I only blogged like twice. So this is much better. But that is not much of an excuse so I will just say forgive me. I think it’s just because I have no one to be accountable to about it. Most of my friends don’t even know about this page (and that’s just how I like it!)

Anyway, I am here because my interest got piqued by a certain topic I got into earlier this week. And that is Emotional Baggage (cue the fireworks)

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I guess I can begin the seemingly traditional way… Boy meets Girl. Boy and girl talk and boy thinks girls is the best thing since applesauce (don’t judge me; I’m a twenty something that likes applesauce). Boy asks girl out and girl agrees. They start dating. Both are on cloud 9 and everything is perfect in the world. Time goes by and boy asks girl to marry him, girl ecstatically says yes. They get married. Within the first year, they start having trouble. She says he is too angry and he says she is too sensitive. How did we miss this earlier when we were dating? What happened?

What might have been ignored is the amount of emotional baggage each of them was bringing into the relationship. I use marriage because it is harder to get out of (I believe in marriage for life) so I prefer to use it for my example in this case. Each person in this scenario has so much that has happened to them in the past that has colored the way they see the world and perceive themselves.

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The discussion I got into discussed a man who has felt powerless all his life feeling the need to overcompensate, having anger issues and the likes. Plus a woman who has been molested and made to feel worthless all her life feeling the need to reward any man she gets approval from through her sexuality. These things are very in-depth and it is not something that can be dealt with easily in one day. However, steps need to be taken to tackle the issue because if that does not happen, the relationship will either break or the people involved will be miserable all of their lives.

This does beg the question of why people refuse to seek professional help when they need it. Some people refuse to admit they have baggage while others just figure they can fix it themselves or they don’t need outside help. This is the fastest way to wreck yourself. My people! Talk to someone! Well not just anyone, but talk to a professional! These people are there for a reason and they can give you the necessary help to deal with your emotional baggage and be free to live a fulfilled life. If you don’t, well then, your reality is bound to be unnecessarily unpleasant. Why would you want to do that to yourself?

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As for me, life is too short for me to be miserable. I will be the first to admit that I have my own share of baggage. However, I plan on figuring it out and fixing it however necessary. I plan to live a happy and fulfilled life, no excuses!

But then, what do I know, I’m just a wondering little one 🙂

What do you guys think about baggage and how it affects relationships? Are you open to getting help or just going with the flow and letting life happen as it will? Speak your mind please 🙂


I believe introductions are in order…

Hello people!
How’s blogviille doing? Good? Great!
Figured since I’ve decided to start a blog, it would be proper to do first things first and introduce myself so everyone can get to know me. Good idea? I think so too! So let’s get to it!

Well, my name is Black Pearl (I go by pearlie or bp sometimes also). I am a twenty something and I am currently based in Nigeria – that can change relatively soon, all depending on some factors we will get into as time goes on. This is because I am originally based in the US and I came to serve in Nigeria and I’ve stayed since I finished. Don’t know how long that will last though…

What else? Oh yeah I finally started the blog on new year’s day after so many times of saying I would. I love to write so I will be using this medium for that (nah duh, what else would I be using it for? you’d probably ask).

The blog will be mostly anonymous so that I can be as blunt and as honest as I want and topics will be based on whatever is making me tick at the moment I pick up my phone or lappy to write… Believe me, it will be an interesting journey.

As anybody else in the world, I am opinionated to a certain degree but I also realize that my views are my views and you won’t necessarily agree with mine (and vice versa). Since this is my blog though, I have to ask that you be respectful of me and of everyone else who visits and watch your mouth (or fingers as the case may be).

I think it is only fair to warn that there’s a dash of craziness in my head and it will spill onto the blog from time to time, bear with me. I am also very much prone to procrastination but I will try to work on that with this blog and make sure I have a steady posting schedule. To make sure that I actually do this, I will start my blog by doing the 30 days writing challenge. It isn’t anything new but hey, I’m a newbie so it is new to me!
Here’s to a wonderful friendship starting today.. Hope it lasts very long.

Cheers lovelies~

This should be exciting :D

This should be exciting 😀