What’s going on over here??? How have you guys been? Have you missed me? I know, I know, I am horribly bad at this blogging life. But I’m getting better! I mean, last year, I think I only blogged like twice. So this is much better. But that is not much of an excuse so I will just say forgive me. I think it’s just because I have no one to be accountable to about it. Most of my friends don’t even know about this page (and that’s just how I like it!)
Anyway, I am here because my interest got piqued by a certain topic I got into earlier this week. And that is Emotional Baggage (cue the fireworks)
I guess I can begin the seemingly traditional way… Boy meets Girl. Boy and girl talk and boy thinks girls is the best thing since applesauce (don’t judge me; I’m a twenty something that likes applesauce). Boy asks girl out and girl agrees. They start dating. Both are on cloud 9 and everything is perfect in the world. Time goes by and boy asks girl to marry him, girl ecstatically says yes. They get married. Within the first year, they start having trouble. She says he is too angry and he says she is too sensitive. How did we miss this earlier when we were dating? What happened?
What might have been ignored is the amount of emotional baggage each of them was bringing into the relationship. I use marriage because it is harder to get out of (I believe in marriage for life) so I prefer to use it for my example in this case. Each person in this scenario has so much that has happened to them in the past that has colored the way they see the world and perceive themselves.
The discussion I got into discussed a man who has felt powerless all his life feeling the need to overcompensate, having anger issues and the likes. Plus a woman who has been molested and made to feel worthless all her life feeling the need to reward any man she gets approval from through her sexuality. These things are very in-depth and it is not something that can be dealt with easily in one day. However, steps need to be taken to tackle the issue because if that does not happen, the relationship will either break or the people involved will be miserable all of their lives.
This does beg the question of why people refuse to seek professional help when they need it. Some people refuse to admit they have baggage while others just figure they can fix it themselves or they don’t need outside help. This is the fastest way to wreck yourself. My people! Talk to someone! Well not just anyone, but talk to a professional! These people are there for a reason and they can give you the necessary help to deal with your emotional baggage and be free to live a fulfilled life. If you don’t, well then, your reality is bound to be unnecessarily unpleasant. Why would you want to do that to yourself?
As for me, life is too short for me to be miserable. I will be the first to admit that I have my own share of baggage. However, I plan on figuring it out and fixing it however necessary. I plan to live a happy and fulfilled life, no excuses!
But then, what do I know, I’m just a wondering little one 🙂
What do you guys think about baggage and how it affects relationships? Are you open to getting help or just going with the flow and letting life happen as it will? Speak your mind please 🙂
I know it is a bit overdue… especially considering it is already the 27th day of the month but I still gotta say it so… HAPPYYYY NEWWWWWW YEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I pray this new year bring you many good things and that the desires and plans you have for this new year work in conjunction with what God (or the universe – whatever you believe in; for me, that is definitely God) has planned for you! Here is to a better, healthier and saner 2015 for us all, me especially!!!
Now that I have gotten that bit of peppiness out of my system, let’s get to the nitty gritty of things. I will be the first to admit that this is kind of a sucky topic to pick as my first topic for the New Year but hey… it is what it is and it is what I need to discuss right now so here goes…
Ever been so sure of something? So sure in fact that you already begun announcing it to the people in your life? So sure that it is going to happen that you don’t even stress as you go through the process of putting the thing in place? Then SPLAT! You fall flat on your ass face and the said something does not happen. You are left wondering how that could possibly be the case and trying to figure out exactly where things went awry.
I know I haven’t spoken deeply about myself so far on this space but I’ll try to start now. I was looking for a job and since I hadn’t had much luck, I decided to find a part-time job. I was so sure in my being qualified for the job as well as my charm (hehe) that I did not stress about the interview or anything. I even got to go back for a second interview. You can imagine my surprise when I did not even make it home from the second interview before I got an email that stated that I was not a right fit for them!
Excuse me??? Not a right fit??? Why? How so? A whole me!!! Wonders shall never end. I even wrote a gracious “Thank you” email to them and asked them why I was not a fit, to which I still haven’t gotten a response back. I will be honest with you, I cried my brains out! It seemed to reinforce my already low esteem of myself and my belief that I am unemployable. I couldn’t believe it! I thought I did great! And not they were telling me I sucked!
Well, after giving myself the rest of that day to wallow and cry it all out of my system, I told myself to suck it up (I can be quite strict with myself). I was incredibly disappointed but it is what it is. Life is not always going to go the way I want it to go – and this is a very big lesson that God has been teaching me these days and it is a very hard lesson but I am learning. I feel like the job situation was like a test and even though I might have failed it, considering how sad I got, I am learning more and more daily.
So the lesson to take home is this: Disappointments are going to happen – they are a part of life. When they happen, even if you need a little time to deal with it however you choose, don’t wallow. Take it all in stride. Learn what you can from what happened and how you will use that to make the next experience better. In my case, I think I know why I was not accepted for the job I was so sure I was going to get. It did teach me to not waste my time with some things but also to better develop myself in some other areas before I put myself forward for some opportunities. Overall, it wasn’t a total loss and while I am still not employed, I am building myself up to be better for whatever I eventually get doing.
So, how about you? Have there been instances where you faced disappointments that tried to pull you down? How did you deal with them? Did you wallow a bit like I did or did you snap back immediately and move on?
PS – I am already doing a good job this year! If I can blog at least once a month, I will feel accomplished! Here’s to continuing good habits. Wish me luck!