Monthly Archives: February 2012
Education comes in many different forms and no matter the form, education is crazily important. Whatever impacts knowledge to you is never a waste of time and energy. So if it is sitting in a classroom or sitting in front of an elder and listening to old-age wisdom or learning a skill, you never know what can happen in the future so never knock it.
There is a certain importance to a classroom education as well. But after a certain level, it is based on how interested you are in it. By University level, I learnt more out of the classroom – through my clubs and organizations – than in class. That isn’t to say I’m saying I don’t think university is important. I think so.. If it is what you are interested in and if you are able to. But really all of life is an education. Learn as much as you can from everything and everyone around you. Listen to the wisdom and the foolishness around you and know how to filter one from the other and utilize the one that will help your life. Also learn a skill. I’m such a huge advocate of that these days. I think it is important for many reasons, we’ll get into that on another day. Any skill will do, as long as you have an interest in it. You never know where life can take you and how said skill you learnt today can help you in the future.
Western education is good to impact knowledge and make you competitive in today’s world, but it is not everything. If it were, the most educated people in the world would be the most fulfilled, most comfortable and happiest people and that isn’t the case so even without it, you should be alright. As long as you apply yourself.
Also, in the age of Google and Wikipedia, you can learn just about anything you want to know about online. Take advantage of these resources. They are there free of charge. Increase your knowledge base and you will do just fine.
That’s all I have to say about the topic. Got my first comment and it made me so happy that glad to know some people are actually reading. It was good encouragement to continue so if you are reading, please drop a note to agree or disagree or whatever. Thank you~
I am so happy to post this. I wrote an article for a good friend of mine on his page and I am really happy about the response it has been getting. Please check it out at http://www.360nobs.com/2012/02/franque-presents-heart-aint-a-brain/comment-page-1/#comment-27132. Read comment and feel free to return here and say what you feel as well.
30 day challenge will return soon enough. Sorry I know I’ve been cheating on it but I’m trying, bear with me.
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
I chose to do this today because I liked that I ate. I had Dundun and Bole for lunch. This is the traditional name for roasted yam and roasted plantain. People who know me know the love I have for street food. My mother tried to weane me of this supposedly bad habit to no avail! Anyway, back to my awesome lunch. It was roasted yam and roasted plantain grilled on one of those metal contraptions used here in nigeria. These people have a big deal going though so it is a big contraption (I’ll try to take a picture of it). The aroma alone had be captive and it was so delicious. They topped it off with fried pepper stew and there was roasted fish as well. Omg! Today’s lunch was heavenly. I got it in Wuse 2 opposite banex plaza and it definitely hit the spot! Might eat it tomorrow as well if I am around here.
I got home and guess what was for dinner, yam and stew! But didn’t even mess up my fantastic lunch. Its all good~
So today is about discussing pet peeves. This is a subject I usually try not to get involved in but since it was asked, I might as well go ahead! This is really in no particular order! They all irk me just as much so here are my top 5 pet peeves…
1. Rude ppl. (Include men ogling) – I find that my people (Nigerians in Nigeria) are very guilty of this! I was talking to a friend of mine and discussing how people act like lacking basic manners means you are a big person in Nigeria. There was a day I went to a restaurant and wanted to try a new stew I saw. The lady in front of me had ordered the same thing and I figured she had to know about it so I asked her if it tasted good. She ignored me about the first two times but I don’t give up that easy so I asked her again. With disdain in her voice, she looked at me and said “I don’t work here”. Madam, what does working here have to do with me asking if you can vouch for the stew YOU just ordered. Of course you don’t work here but you obviously eat here which gives you the ability to answer my question. I just walked away from the nonsense she was sprouting!
Apart from that, the way people treat service staff is atrocious! I know they are doing work that you would never consider doing but a little please and thank you go a long way. These people stand on their feet all day to serve people like you and the least you could do is be polite to them! And to top it all off, men openly ogling women! Again, Nigeria is one of the biggest offenders in this case. It is ridiculous and most men have no shame about it. They don’t even attempt to be tactful! They just stare as if they are looking at meat (this is a topic for another day so I’ll just leave it at that). Rude people should be flogged once a day for a while, I’m sure it would go a long way in fixing their unnecessary and wretched attitudes!
2) Attention seekers – this one has been made worse with the invent of Twitter, Facebook, BBM, etc. People who don’t understand that not everything that comes into your brain should come out of your mouth or flow out of your fingers are in this list as well. I have a contact on my bbm who is only there for entertainment. When I first added her, I used to get worried when I saw her statuses until I realized she just wanted attention. She would update the most outrageous things from saying she would kill herself (she once asked what the fastest and most painless way to commit suicide was), to threatening to kill someone else or to run away or that she is in love, or she is out of it or… You get the picture. At first I was worried about the babe, then I was amused but eventually I began to feel bad for her. Nothing is out of bounds or not to be told by her. It has to be hard trying to top yourself and your last story. Attention seeking is sad because people deal with you in worry and later in exasperation but hardly anyone wants to be around you for too long. It is irritating though and these people have to do better! Its not cute at all!!!
3) Bad english/over-slanging – once again, my people are the guilty party in this case. Except for the basic ones (r, u, 2, d, etc), I write messages, texts, and others in english and people ask me is it that I don’t know how to write in slang? Oh and to read some messages, you will have to be psychic or be great at deductive reasoning! It shouldn’t be that hard to write/read a message!
I also physically cringe when someone speaks/writes bad english. I am an automatic corrector! If you say something or you use bad tense or whatever, I would have corrected it before I think if I should or not. It is that much of a pain to me. It isn’t to seem superior or to make someone look bad, most times, I’m not even thinking about what I just did until people start looking at me strangely then I feel awkward but it seriously bothers me! I know it is the fault of the education system to a level but also laziness has a lot to do with it. It is even worse when its something that the real word n the slang has the same amount of words, so what is the point? (Example, like vs lyke… Really!!!) Ah well~
4) Dirty people – I am a relatively messy person and I think messiness speaks a bit to one being a genius (:D that’s my story and I’m sticking to it) but what I hate is dirty people! I lived in an apartment my first year of university where I had my own bathroon but shared a bath. This was a horrible experience as the chick was soooo dirty! We made a cleaning schedule where we washed every other week and if I washed this time, then she washed the next time, so basically you are only washing once a month and she still had a problem sticking by that schedule. I ended up cleaning when it was my turn as well as hers. It was frustrating but I couldn’t leave it dirty n use it. Shared space shld always be kept clean. It doesn’t take that long to clean and I’m not a fan of it but it is just what I consider a good manners to keep shared space clean.
While on that topic, body odor is part of this issue! In fact, its even worse because this is your body! You carry it with you all the time! Shouldn’t you take pride in it to keep in clean. My nigerian people (ps I love yall ooo, but we have to talk about these things so it’s not like I’m picking on yall), with the country’s weather, a deodorant should be your best friend! So why do you shun it like a plague and destroy my olfactory nerves with your ‘scents’. Please do better! Before you kill us all!
5) Skinny jeans of chubby grown men – I have been seeing this recently and it is quite disturbing. First off, skinnies were made for women, then rockstars started wearing them but it was ok because they were rockstars and can get away with looking kinda like that (they already use black eyeliner anyway). Then gay guys started wearing them too and it was ok because.. Well they were gay. From that stage, the transition to all guys in skinnies was beyond me but who was I to question it. But when grown and chubby guys bought into the trend, I developed a twitch. Let’s even leave the fact that it is my pet peeve and let’s look at it from a style POV. You are supposed to know what flatters your shape and dress accordingly. So the first time you, with your chubby grown self, looked into a mirror and saw the uncomfortable bulges your jeans were creating, you still thought it was ok to wear? I just can’t! And I am seeing it more and more out there so I have to wonder if they don’t have wives, girlfriends, sisters and even mothers that can tell them they ain’t looking right? Smh their people are mean as well! But then again, what do I know? These are just my personal issues!
These ones almost made the list but didn’t.
Too much makeup
Well there you go people, my pet peeves listed. Feel free to list your 5 pet peeves as well.. Share with me and comment! Thanks and have a great day!
I wanted to skip this one because I couldn’t get my thoughts together but since I can’t, here goes….
Mainstream music is relatively meh! I understand the point is to make money but it is quite sad when the same sort of crap keeps coming out and the sad part is we are buying and playing them. However, there are some that are redeeming the rest these days. People like Adele, Common, Kanye, etc are doing what they do well. But there are those like Soulja boy, basically 80% of so-called hip hop n R&B artists are just sprouting crap! Beyond listening on the radio a tad and what I hear in the club, I don’t really pay attention to them anymore. In fact! I find that the unheard of artists in most genres are the ones that make better music.
All that being said, being a Nigerian and being in Nigeria presently, I have to give a shout-out to our musicians! The great heights they have reached in such a short time is admirable. I guess the reason I don’t listen to American music much anymore is because there is so much options with Nigerian music! I divide them into 2 main sections – the party music that makes little sense most times but the beat is banging and you can dance to anytime anywhere and the deep music that you just sit and listen to and absorb. People like Asa, Bez etc fall in that category. Of course those 2 categories isn’t set in stone and there are people who slide through to both or none at all, as well as those who simply make no sense at all!
Overall though, you can’t go wrong with most old-school music and they are what I usually stick with when I tire of what’s out there today.. I guess it’s because those ones have stood the test of time but hey, what do I know.. I just happen to like music a lot!
What is your own opinion about mainstream music? Share your thoughts and have a wonderful weekend!
I AM SORRY.
I wish I could convey that in a more heartfelt way and in a way for you to see just how sorry I truly am. I wish I could be the kind of girlfriend that I should have been and I really wish it could have worked out between us (you don’t know how much I wish that) but it seems to not happen despite whatever I think and however I try to make it otherwise.
You have been one of the most amazing people in my life and I still remember the day we met. I remember the thoughts going through my mind. I don’t remember when I fell for you but I do remember that was the first time I felt exactly like that. I do remember the journey from there to actually dating you. I don’t know what the problem is truthfully. I know I say it is the distance but I feel like there is more. The fear of what could happen is keeping me back. As well as the fear that I could mess things up. I don’t want to do that because then you would hate me forever and as much as I hate not being with you, I would hate not having you in my life at all and thinking any less of me even more.
I really hope you know that you are an amazing person. You have been my friend for so long and I can never forget that. I know I love you but I don’t think that is enough in this case so I would rather not mess things up even more than they already are. Please forgive me and know I pray for you almost as much as I pray for myself. I know you are going places and I hope we are still good friends even then so that I can celebrate your life with you.
I don’t regret meeting you. I don’t now and I never will. I do regret how things are turning out between us but I hope everything turns out well for both of us and we can look on our past with fondness and nor anger or bitterness.
Once again, I am truly really and very very sorry.
Ps- I realize I am writing this on love’s favorite day so happy valentine to everyone. Not everyone can have a happy valentine though, it just doesn’t work that way but take it as a day to show love to the people around you and make the most of it!! As for me, my friends and I are having a single ladies night to celebrate valentine and I’m excited about it :D. Enjoy your day everyone!
Woke up at 5:30 from a dream where I had dragons as pets. One eventually bit me, that’s when I woke up…. Hope that doesn’t have any in depth meaning except that I have weird dreams.
Tried to go back to sleep, it was fitful but I didn’t get up till 7am. Went and washed the dishes and warm leftovers for my lunch. Fried plantain as well. Swept the kitchen and then went to take my bath and get ready for the day
Left the house around 8:40. Was going to attempt taking public transport to the shop today but didn’t really feel up to it so I took a cab. Got here before 9am.
Started working on an outfit (ps I’m apprenticing at a fashion design place. But I just stared to don’t know much yet. I was there till 5pm though so basically most of the day.
Around 1pm, ate lunch and one of the people there ate with me.
Went back to work and then nepa took light. Took a short nap (was very sleepy) and when the generator was turned on, went back to work. Didn’t actually work much on my own outfit but tis cool. Was helping my instructor with work he had to do.
Left a little bit before 6pm and decided to finally take public transportation. It involved a whole lot of walking around like a lost puppy and asking from people (some who gave the wrong direction) and a whole hour before I got home – something that usually took about 15mins in drop. I also realized that it is only a 70 naira difference between getting a personal cab and taking public transportation so as ‘interesting’ as this experience was, I will not be repeating it often unless I’m just really tight on money.
Got home with a slight headache and went in search of a snack. Found none so went to lay in bed for a bit.
Hunger pangs chased me back to the kitchen where dinner is being prepared (thank goodness for A.N.). Dinner is Rice, veges and fish.
In front of the tv, watched grey’s anatomy and House. Now watching an old movie called Double Take. Won’t finish it, off to bed now. Relatively boring day but hey! It is whatever.
Hope everyone had a great day, sorry this came late but bulleting the whole day required the day to end before I post up. Yall have a great night and see yall tomorrow, cheers yall~
Kane and Abel – Jeffrey Archer.
This book is a favorite for sentimental reasons as well as because Archer is a frigging genius! I said it for a long time that he had a criminal’s mind so it wasn’t surprising when he was finally jailed for a crime (he’s still a great writer and I don’t hold his jail time against him!).
Anyway, I love this because first off because it was the first “grown-up” book my father gave to me. Before this, he gave me bible stories and small books to read. But I guess he saw how I was always ‘inhaling’ any book I could get my hand on so he finally called me and told me this was one of his favorite books (I think I was about 8 at the time). I was just so happy that I was reading a grown up book. Then I got into it and I fell in love. Even at my young age, I couldn’t help but get invested in the story of 2 people who, in different circumstances, would (and should) have been best of friends and the way things worked out to deprive them of that friendship. I got to like Florentyna (Abel’s daughter), especially when she was young.. Guess I could relate with her and by the time she grew up, I was too invested to drop the book.
Sorry but you would have to google the book to get the full synopsis but you have to know its a good book. I am usually very restless and I get bored easily so if a book sucks, it doesn’t take long before I dump it and go in search of the next book but I have read Kane and Abel over 5 times (don’t ask me why I don’t have a personal copy… Well I do but presently it isn’t in my possession) and, as with any good book, I keep discovering something new every single time. The book actually turns into a 3-part book with Kane and Abel being first, then The Prodigal Daughter being second and Shall We Tell the President being third. Now I am a shameless fan of anything Archer writes but this three will be in my heart forever. I recommend anyone who is able to get any of his books to curl up for a good read and anyone who has read Kane and Abel can feel free to say more about it.
Ps – I know its lazy but I most likely won’t blog during weekends, bear with me because that would affect the 30day challenge but don’t worry, it will all get done.
Comments and plugs appreciated! Everyone have a great day!
To prepare for this one, I went online and did some research. Some of these things I already knew, others I didn’t at all and it was maddening. In the US, 1 in every 6 female is raped. In South Africa, it is 1 in every 2 female. South Africa is the worst because they have the highest occurrence in the whole world which is caused by many factors but that is not the main point today.
I couldn’t find a lot of statistics for Nigeria and that is because so many people do not report rape and molestation in this country. This could be because they are too young to know they are being molested, or it is a close acquaintance that is doing the molesting or they figure why expose themselves to the ridicule bound to come from reporting it. The worst are people who actually have conditioned themselves that maybe they did something to ask for it. Unfortunately, our society isn’t one that tackles this problem head on. It is more or less ignored by the system. This is quite unfortunate because victims are stuck on how to get help and most of the time, they have to suffer whatever physical n psychological pain they are feeling alone.
Most times, the molesters are acquaintances and this breaks my heart too. About 70% of the time, the female knows the person. Also the amount of kids that are molested is quite disturbing. It is worse in a place like South Africa where even babies are raped (as people believe it would help cure HIV/AIDS) but middle school and high school kids are raped everywhere and it is quite sad.
I don’t know how rape began and I don’t know much about its history but I do believe much isn’t being done about it, especially in Nigeria. There is very little education or awareness done about the issue and reporting is almost nonexistent. People usually don’t know how or where to report and even if they report, the chances of actual conviction is so low that people figure it isn’t worth it. This attitude has made the issue more prevalent in our communities.
Personally, I think children rapist and molesters are worse than the devil. They should be castrated and made to eat their organ! It is not talked about but I had to think about it. So many instances of the child saying uncle touched her, or of the housegirl saying oga cornered her in the room. These things happen everyday in our country and it is just swept under the rug, sometimes even the victim is insulted and labeled a whore – trying to destroy a man’s life with her accusations (especially by insecure women who do not want to accept that their husbands are bastards who molest the kids they are supposed to be protecting!).
Overall, these attitudes sicken me and I think about the physiological and psychological damage that is being done to so many young women out there, who will grow up to become mothers and build the future, this isn’t a good foundation we are building. If we don’t do something about it now, we are setting ourselves up for a whole lot of issues in the future, on both sides. So this country needs to start working on this issue. I don’t claim to know the solution or that it would be easy but it needs to be done! If not, we will all pay the price in the future.
NB – I know men and boys get raped and molested as well. Sorry I didn’t dwell much on it but the sentiments are still the same.
PS – For more information, check out RAINN’s (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) website and this other one…
Hello People! Today is the first day of the 30 day Challenge. Hope I see it through. Anyway, today asks 5 ways to win mymy he
art. Here goes –
1. Have a great relationship with God. I truly hope this answer never gets old for me. I am not perfect in my walk with God but its a working progress so I totally adore a man who has his act together in that aspect. That way, you don’t draw me back and also you can keep me in check and maybe even help me in my walk with God. Also, your relationship with God will challenge me to work on mine as well so that I can get to a better level so that I’m not the one drawing you back. Besides, a God-fearing man is less prone to do some things I can’t really condone (that’s a topic for another day) so it would make things easier. That’s why this is the most important.
2. Always be honest. This is almost as important as the first one. My belief is that if you are the person I will have for a long time in my life, you have to be able to be honest about things, even if the end result won’t be positive but at least I will know that I’m able to trust you to always be straight with me. I am a total disclosure kinda person. So if I ask you if I look fat in a dress, answer honestly. I might look sad at first but I’ll get over it n deal accordingly. But I will also note that you were honest about that simple (hard) question so when it gets to the more complex things that gaining my heart are based on, I will know to trust and believe what you have to say. You will also have to be my best friend and I have to be able to tell you everything, ask for advice, etc. But if I’m not sure of your honesty, I won’t be
able to trust you to that level, therefore my heart will go out of it fast! Simple!
3. Be kind and patient. I will be the first to tell you that I have issues and I am going to drive you insane, not once or twice but many many times. Therefore, you have to have kindness in you to be able to just look, shake your head and walk away, saying when the blood flows away from her head, she will get back to me. You also have to be very patient because that is going to happen quite often. I also am very clumsy, cuckoo and annoying when I want to be or when I’m in a mood. Your patience with these traits is important as I don’t see those things changing anytime soon. 4. Have a way with words. Intelligence has a lot to play with this aspect but basically
you have to have a way with words. This might be weird to some people but I love words and someone who just uses them right and says the right thing gets me all the time. It says a lot that the person I fell hardest for recently was a genius with words! As in the brother could just write or speak and I would plotz! It was crazy! Of course there were other traits he possessed but that one definitely got me. At this point, I should add that spelling thing correctly is also a plus and having a typed conversation where things are not spelled the right way grits my nerves. I try not to judge but it definitely loses you points. I guess this aspect is helped by being a reader but basically make the english language your friend and know how to use words to make me swoon.
5. Possess a sense of humor. This is very important as I am known to have the attention span of a gnat. So it is important that I have to be entertained around you if you are to last in my life. In addition, you have to be able to laugh at yourself. I can be very silly and I tend to make a fool of myself very quickly. So you can’t get embarrassed easily and you have to be able to laugh about things and let them go instead of getting upset about them. I dated a guy who, among other faults, got embarrassed very quickly when things didn’t go his way and would either shut off from you or would try to find a way to embarrass you as well (a “misery loves company” type thing). As you can imagine, we didn’t last long at all. But basically, a sense of humor is rather important. If you don’t possess one, not gonna happen m’dear!
So that’s it! The 5 top ways to win my heart. Below are some runner ups, they were close contenders but for one reason or the other, didn’t make it.
Romantic (I’m not a full romantic so its not high on the list, but it would be nice)
Good Dancer (topic for another day)
Good with kids
Well people, that’s it for today. Thanks for reading and please feel free to comment. Support a newbie blogger… It would be great motivation to keep on writing. Thanks and have a blessed day.