She’s a Survivor~

First off, I have to apologize profusely for the long long silence on this blog. It is not a concrete excuse but my excuse is that I have started my Masters and it has been quite a change from what I am used to. Please bear with me and know that it is not my intention to not post and I will truly try to do better!!! Now I could not stay away because this post was just on my mind and I couldn’t get away from my mind.

I woke up today, feeling happy that I didn’t have to go to school – not for classes or for work and that I could stay in bed. As usual as with my nosy self, I went on Facebook to see what was going on. I was just reading through statuses and checking out pictures when I saw a status update from one of my former schoolmates and while she is not an incredibly close friend, I do consider her more than just an acquaintance. It went thus…

                In April of 2011 I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Ovarian Cancer. After surgery, four rounds of chemotherapy, testing blood, night sweats, and tears of frustration, I stand tall and happily say that I am celebrating my first year of remission. My faith, family, friends, and will of determination got me to this day and it’s also what will get me through the road ahead. For those who I didn’t share my 

story with, I ask for your understanding. I did not want to burden you with the knews of my ailment. For those who have lost a loved one to this horrible disease, I weep for your loss and will stand with you to help find a cure. But I ask you all now to learn from my horrible mistake and not take your health for granted. Find the time to go for your yearly check up. Thank you again to my family and friends who supported me through this journey. May God bless all of you as He continues to bless me.

A.C. (Full name withheld to protect the person)

 

            Now, the first thing that came to mind is that she was joking. Or maybe she was speaking on behalf of someone else’s experience. I guess my brain didn’t want to process this. This is someone who is probably just one or two years older than me. So I went to her page and stalked her and saw comments people put on the status. Then I looked at her pictures and saw her with short hair from when she was getting chemo and I was just astounded!!! My goodness. There are justr some things that you don’t think can/will happen to you or people your age, especially now. I have always thought of things like cancer as ailments to worry about when you are older and she had it? Stage 3 Ovarian cancer!!! I have been shaken since morning. I have written a message on her wall, sent a message encouraging her into her inbox and I have just been praying and thanking God for her.

 

            This evening, I was thinking about her and how strong she has become and how her perspective has changed on life and other things because of what happened to her. That got me to wondering, why do we wait for things to go bad or for bad things to happen before we decide to think right? Why do we wait for life to go wrong before we decide to make deals with God to change our ways or live life to the fullest? I was sitting here, even after reading her status and having her come to mind from time to time today and I was complaining about the fact that I am here now and I am bored and alone and I haven’t gotten to know people and be the social butterfly that I usually am. Then I was wondering, is that my first priority? I have so much work to do for school that I am not doing. And if I want to know people, why won’t I put myself out there and get to know them instead of over-wondering about it? And instead of complaining, why don’t I give thanks to God for the opportunity to be able to further my education? Many people want to and they can’t! Many people like A want to, but due to sickness, they are not able to at the moment. But instead of having perspective, we just complain and moan about the things that are not going well.

 

            Apart from that, how many people can actually handle something like this without falling apart? I understand that she had family and friends to support her but even with that, how many can actually get through this without falling victim of depression or thoughts of suicide? I was thinking about it and I just decided I don’t even want to imagine how I would deal with something like that! Just thank God everyday that He has been so wonderful to me.

 

            What I took away from her story the most was that it is important to not ignore signs and symptoms when your body is trying to tell you something is not right (this includes your mind and spirit as well – health is not just physical). Get the necessary help when you need it! You never know the worse thing you avoid by doing that. I also learnt to take life by the horns and live it to the fullest. Life is short! Appreciate each day and take advantage of it to touch someone’s life. You don’t know how many lives A touched by her simple status today (It got me back to my blog didn’t it :D) I have decided I will keep praying for A. She will stay in remission from now on and not have to deal with all the negative emotions that have to do with that horrible disease every again and none of us will have to deal with it either. Thank God for life everyday and make the most of it! That is today’s message.

 

Ps – I am discontinuing the 30 days thingy for now but I will upload actual stuff. Oh and hello all!!!!!! Thanks for reading!!!!!

 

 

 

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Day 14 : What I wore today

I’m mostly a jeans kinda person so most days find me in jeans. Today isn’t any different. I am wearing blue jeans and a black, grey and white button-down shirt. The shirt has ruffles on it as well. Blue sandals and black earrings. I’m really lazy so won’t wear any type of heels unless it’s a really special occasion. That being said, I do love heels and I have a collection going :D

Since today’s blog piece is so short, I’m including a pic of moi so you see what I’m wearing. Enjoy and have a great day.

Cheers~

Day 13 – My opinion about my body and how comfortable I am with it.

I like my body. Not love but like. And it wasn’t even always like. All things considered though, I have the stereotypically good body shape.. (ie bust, hips, butt). I am 5’7 and I love every inch I have. I love being a tall girl. I also weigh a bit (but nobody can ever tell). I’m around 150lbs but most ppl guess 120-130lbs when they see me and are in shock that they are wrong.
Like I said, I like my body. It is relatively easy to find outfits that flatter it and to find outfits that emphasize the good parts and hide the imperfections. The compliment I get most times is sexy which I have actually come to hate because I feel like it is focusing on physical assets too much. A friend once told me that when a girl is seen as sexy, the man is automatically thinking of getting her naked and seeing all those curves at their most basic. That is just nasty to me! I would rather be cute or pretty but what can I do at this point. Its even worse when I wear heels before everything is emphasized.

All things considered though, I am rather comfortable with my body. I don’t dodge mirrors (I used to do this at one time) and I don’t have any problem seeing it at its barest. Whenever I feel like I’m gaining weight, I try and work out and get it back in shape as I like it but that’s not always easy seeing as I love to eat and don’t like working out too much :d. I have a natural athlete’s body (people always believe I do one sport or the other as well and I don’t do any) and I like that. If I were to compare, I guess Serena Williams would be about my body type (I don’t think I’m as curvaceous as she is though but kind of like that.
Guess that’s it.

Cheers all~

Gotta be more toned like her though~

Gotta be more toned like her though~

Day 12 – 5 guys i find attractive

5 Guys I find attractive

5) Trey Songs – I have been in love with him for a long time. The very first song from him was ‘Just gotta make it’. I fell right there and then. He has a great smile, looks like every woman’s dream and his voice is just on point! I am happy at his continued success and I would so love to meet him and just view him in real life!

4) Channing Tatum – I fell in love with him from the first step up movie and I’ve been following his movies since then. The man is tall, cute and romantic. He can dance and that’s like a 1000% plus in my book! And did I mention he is cute??? Sigh! Moving on!

3) Adam Levine – This is the lead singer on Maroon Five and is also someone I adore for a while now. He is soooo cute and rather unlike the men I’m usually attracted to but he just has this pull. He’s a mix of cute and sensitive and rockstar and sweet and hot all together into one package and I love it! Can sing too and mehn! Songs about Jane was a beautiful album and he just has his own type of Swag that he makes work for himself! Yeah I’m sprung!

2) Djimon Honsou – He is an African brother (from Benin Republic) and gosh he is just a gorgeous specimen! He eludes that strength of the stereotypical african man. You just believe he would be able to protect you from anything! I really love that he is doing big things and he is not beautiful in the stereotypical way but he eludes his own brand of confidence and sexiness. I would so love to have one date with him and pick his brain and just enjoy his company (heaven save me ooo. I don’t even know if the brother is married :d)

And finally…
1) Ryan Gosling – I swoon just thinking about him! Have you seen his eyes! And his smile! And his intensity! And his features! And his BODY! And his skill!!! Ok obviously I ADORE him but what can I say? The man is just very adoreable :D. First movie I saw was the notebook and he was just so roguish and he just continued from there! Gosh I really adore him! So much so I put on my bbm the other day, his picture and a caption saying I’m sprung. I really am and he is definitely worth it! Gosh! Ok I’m done.

People who almost made the list -
-Shemar Moore – gentlemanly charm is sweet sha~
- Usher – that love affair has been going on since I was 13. Don’t mess with it!

What about your own list of 5 men you find sexy and attractive? Lemme have it!

Cheers all~

gosh! isn't he just sooooo yummy???

gosh! isn’t he just sooooo yummy???

Day 11 – My Family

My family – comprises of dad, mom, bro 1, me and bro 2, right in that order.

Dad – growing up my dad was a strict disciplinarian. You stay in shape and stay in line and you were alright. This worked well for me since I was a rule keeper and since I really didn’t want to be punished so I stayed in line and did most things right. So much so that most times I got punished, it was usually because of something I did in conjunction with bro 1. Either fighting him or following him into trouble :D. Dad has really mellowed out now though. Old age plus other things iGuess. Besides we are grown now so at this point, all he can do is pray and talk. Its bro 2 that is enjoying this mellow dad.. Sometimes I wish he met strict dad though! The boy is enjoying!

Mom – She is what my people like to call an Arinka, Waka-Waka. She has always being on the move. I had her till I was maybe 6 then she moved to South Africa till I was 9. She came back, with bro 3 in toll and when he was 2, she went to the US again. I didn’t really get to know her or live with her until age 13 so we weren’t cool at first. I held on to my status as daddy’s girl but now we are peas in a pod. Mom is beautiful, vibrant, energetic, always doing one thing or the other, always involved in one business or the other, always poke-nosing into your own business.. (She feels it’s her right as your mother) and I mostly love her for it! Mom and Dad have this relationship, they are like giddy friends who gist and gossip about things. This is good, except when they fight, they need someone else to gist and gossip with. That is not good for us kids so we pray they don’t fight at all. They are fabulous parents though.

Bro 1 – He is… He’s the hardest to describe I guess. He’s my big brother but there is only 2 years between us. I can’t say much about him but I do love him to death. Oh the boy is a fine boy! As in he is finer than me! And I am a girl!!! Like girls are always asking to hooked up with him and mamas are always trying to match make him with their daughters. He is very charming (we all are in our family) and very much a people’s person and people just love him automatically. He is fun to be with and I love hanging out with him. We have issues sometimes because we both have strong personalities but he has my back and I have his anyday!

Me – Well.. This one you will keep getting to know as you go on with the blog. Just that I’m the middle kid and the only girl and I love the only girl part. Any other thing, you will know as time goes on!

Bro 2 – My love! My little baby! He was born 5 months before my tenth birthday, after I had given up on having a little sibling. He’s presently in boarding school and he’s soooooo cute! Of course he doesn’t appreciate me calling him that and he’s trying to be a big boy. Its not easy growing up with older sibilings. The age gap is huge so its like having 4 parents. He’s also growing up into a handsome young man (seriously, how unfair is it that the 2 boys in the house are finer than the one girl! Ah well.. Such is life). Anyway, I’m dedicated to making him into a gentleman since I believe there are so few but he really is a sweetheart, considerate, kind and helpful.

That is my family in a nutshell. I have to apologize for not having posted in a long time. I’m being a bum about writing but I will finish this thing! Can’t wait to finish and start writing other things though. Already so many ideas flowing through. Thanks for reading and please comment even if just to say hello. Cheers all~

Day 10 – Put your music player on shuffle and write the first 10 songs that play.

I am soooo grossly ashamed of myself! Can’t believe I haven’t posted in sooooo long! I have no excuse even and I sincerely apologize.
Today’s is a relatively easy one so here goes…

Put your music player on shuffle and write the first 10 songs that play…

1) Yolanda Adams – The Battle is the Lord’s
2) J-Martins- Good or Bad
3) Casting Crows – Lifesong
4) 2 Face – Implication
5) Michael Buble – The Way You Look Tonight
6) Asa – Indian Song
7) Boys II Men – End of the Road
8)Kaysha – On Dit Quoi
9)Bob Marley – Turn your lights down low
10)Chrisette Michelle – Love in You

That’s it for today, again, apologies for being awol. Comment on my ten shuffled songs please, lemme know what you think of my taste in music from what you can see on this list.. Have a wonderful day :)

musto dance!

musto dance!

Day 9 – How important I think education is.

Education comes in many different forms and no matter the form, education is crazily important. Whatever impacts knowledge to you is never a waste of time and energy. So if it is sitting in a classroom or sitting in front of an elder and listening to old-age wisdom or learning a skill, you never know what can happen in the future so never knock it.

There is a certain importance to a classroom education as well. But after a certain level, it is based on how interested you are in it. By University level, I learnt more out of the classroom – through my clubs and organizations – than in class. That isn’t to say I’m saying I don’t think university is important. I think so.. If it is what you are interested in and if you are able to. But really all of life is an education. Learn as much as you can from everything and everyone around you. Listen to the wisdom and the foolishness around you and know how to filter one from the other and utilize the one that will help your life. Also learn a skill. I’m such a huge advocate of that these days. I think it is important for many reasons, we’ll get into that on another day. Any skill will do, as long as you have an interest in it. You never know where life can take you and how said skill you learnt today can help you in the future.
Western education is good to impact knowledge and make you competitive in today’s world, but it is not everything. If it were, the most educated people in the world would be the most fulfilled, most comfortable and happiest people and that isn’t the case so even without it, you should be alright. As long as you apply yourself.

Also, in the age of Google and Wikipedia, you can learn just about anything you want to know about online. Take advantage of these resources. They are there free of charge. Increase your knowledge base and you will do just fine.

That’s all I have to say about the topic. Got my first comment and it made me so happy that glad to know some people are actually reading. It was good encouragement to continue so if you are reading, please drop a note to agree or disagree or whatever. Thank you~

A break in our regularly scheduled program~

I am so happy to post this. I wrote an article for a good friend of mine on his page and I am really happy about the response it has been getting. Please check it out at http://www.360nobs.com/2012/02/franque-presents-heart-aint-a-brain/comment-page-1/#comment-27132. Read comment and feel free to return here and say what you feel as well.

30 day challenge will return soon enough. Sorry I know I’ve been cheating on it but I’m trying, bear with me.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Day 8 – What I Ate Today

Lunch –

I chose to do this today because I liked that I ate. I had Dundun and Bole for lunch. This is the traditional name for roasted yam and roasted plantain. People who know me know the love I have for street food. My mother tried to weane me of this supposedly bad habit to no avail! Anyway, back to my awesome lunch. It was roasted yam and roasted plantain grilled on one of those metal contraptions used here in nigeria. These people have a big deal going though so it is a big contraption (I’ll try to take a picture of it). The aroma alone had be captive and it was so delicious. They topped it off with fried pepper stew and there was roasted fish as well. Omg! Today’s lunch was heavenly. I got it in Wuse 2 opposite banex plaza and it definitely hit the spot! Might eat it tomorrow as well if I am around here.

Dinner –

I got home and guess what was for dinner, yam and stew! But didn’t even mess up my fantastic lunch. Its all good~

Day 7 – 5 Pet Peeves

So today is about discussing pet peeves. This is a subject I usually try not to get involved in but since it was asked, I might as well go ahead! This is really in no particular order! They all irk me just as much so here are my top 5 pet peeves…

1. Rude ppl. (Include men ogling) – I find that my people (Nigerians in Nigeria) are very guilty of this! I was talking to a friend of mine and discussing how people act like lacking basic manners means you are a big person in Nigeria. There was a day I went to a restaurant and wanted to try a new stew I saw. The lady in front of me had ordered the same thing and I figured she had to know about it so I asked her if it tasted good. She ignored me about the first two times but I don’t give up that easy so I asked her again. With disdain in her voice, she looked at me and said “I don’t work here”. Madam, what does working here have to do with me asking if you can vouch for the stew YOU just ordered. Of course you don’t work here but you obviously eat here which gives you the ability to answer my question. I just walked away from the nonsense she was sprouting!
Apart from that, the way people treat service staff is atrocious! I know they are doing work that you would never consider doing but a little please and thank you go a long way. These people stand on their feet all day to serve people like you and the least you could do is be polite to them! And to top it all off, men openly ogling women! Again, Nigeria is one of the biggest offenders in this case. It is ridiculous and most men have no shame about it. They don’t even attempt to be tactful! They just stare as if they are looking at meat (this is a topic for another day so I’ll just leave it at that). Rude people should be flogged once a day for a while, I’m sure it would go a long way in fixing their unnecessary and wretched attitudes!

2) Attention seekers – this one has been made worse with the invent of Twitter, Facebook, BBM, etc. People who don’t understand that not everything that comes into your brain should come out of your mouth or flow out of your fingers are in this list as well. I have a contact on my bbm who is only there for entertainment. When I first added her, I used to get worried when I saw her statuses until I realized she just wanted attention. She would update the most outrageous things from saying she would kill herself (she once asked what the fastest and most painless way to commit suicide was), to threatening to kill someone else or to run away or that she is in love, or she is out of it or… You get the picture. At first I was worried about the babe, then I was amused but eventually I began to feel bad for her. Nothing is out of bounds or not to be told by her. It has to be hard trying to top yourself and your last story. Attention seeking is sad because people deal with you in worry and later in exasperation but hardly anyone wants to be around you for too long. It is irritating though and these people have to do better! Its not cute at all!!!

3) Bad english/over-slanging – once again, my people are the guilty party in this case. Except for the basic ones (r, u, 2, d, etc), I write messages, texts, and others in english and people ask me is it that I don’t know how to write in slang? Oh and to read some messages, you will have to be psychic or be great at deductive reasoning! It shouldn’t be that hard to write/read a message!
I also physically cringe when someone speaks/writes bad english. I am an automatic corrector! If you say something or you use bad tense or whatever, I would have corrected it before I think if I should or not. It is that much of a pain to me. It isn’t to seem superior or to make someone look bad, most times, I’m not even thinking about what I just did until people start looking at me strangely then I feel awkward but it seriously bothers me! I know it is the fault of the education system to a level but also laziness has a lot to do with it. It is even worse when its something that the real word n the slang has the same amount of words, so what is the point? (Example, like vs lyke… Really!!!) Ah well~

4) Dirty people – I am a relatively messy person and I think messiness speaks a bit to one being a genius (:D that’s my story and I’m sticking to it) but what I hate is dirty people! I lived in an apartment my first year of university where I had my own bathroon but shared a bath. This was a horrible experience as the chick was soooo dirty! We made a cleaning schedule where we washed every other week and if I washed this time, then she washed the next time, so basically you are only washing once a month and she still had a problem sticking by that schedule. I ended up cleaning when it was my turn as well as hers. It was frustrating but I couldn’t leave it dirty n use it. Shared space shld always be kept clean. It doesn’t take that long to clean and I’m not a fan of it but it is just what I consider a good manners to keep shared space clean.
While on that topic, body odor is part of this issue! In fact, its even worse because this is your body! You carry it with you all the time! Shouldn’t you take pride in it to keep in clean. My nigerian people (ps I love yall ooo, but we have to talk about these things so it’s not like I’m picking on yall), with the country’s weather, a deodorant should be your best friend! So why do you shun it like a plague and destroy my olfactory nerves with your ‘scents’. Please do better! Before you kill us all!

5) Skinny jeans of chubby grown men – I have been seeing this recently and it is quite disturbing. First off, skinnies were made for women, then rockstars started wearing them but it was ok because they were rockstars and can get away with looking kinda like that (they already use black eyeliner anyway). Then gay guys started wearing them too and it was ok because.. Well they were gay. From that stage, the transition to all guys in skinnies was beyond me but who was I to question it. But when grown and chubby guys bought into the trend, I developed a twitch. Let’s even leave the fact that it is my pet peeve and let’s look at it from a style POV. You are supposed to know what flatters your shape and dress accordingly. So the first time you, with your chubby grown self, looked into a mirror and saw the uncomfortable bulges your jeans were creating, you still thought it was ok to wear? I just can’t! And I am seeing it more and more out there so I have to wonder if they don’t have wives, girlfriends, sisters and even mothers that can tell them they ain’t looking right? Smh their people are mean as well! But then again, what do I know? These are just my personal issues!

These ones almost made the list but didn’t.

Too much makeup

Lateness

Well there you go people, my pet peeves listed. Feel free to list your 5 pet peeves as well.. Share with me and comment! Thanks and have a great day!

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